THE St. Louis Speakeasy
It is currently Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:11 pm GMT

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 73 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 11:18 am GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
The question jarred Lin from his musings and he hid another wince as he looked up to the other man. His chest still ached, but he doubted it was anything to worry the other man with—and Han already worried too much as it was. About him, about Danny, his patients, Jet. No need to make it any worse. No need to make his health worse. He shook his head, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against Han again. God knows it was only heartburn or something equally nonthreatening.

But then. . .

Han would worry more if he didn't speak. Despite all that he didn't know about the man, Lin knew at least knew him well enough to know that. The streetlights flickered slightly as he opened his eyes. Those shadows. . . Somehow they seemed even darker than before, and he felt a chill, even with the warmth of Han against his side and the arm around his shoulders. He could feel the tenseness—the younger was already worried. . .

"Ach, jus'. . .jus' some heartburn, Liebe," he murmured, relenting just enough to tell what he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, to be a lie. "Nothin' worth worryin' over."

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 

Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 9:12 pm GMT 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:59 am GMT
Posts: 56525
Location: proper tea is theft
Custom Title: Ahoy!
"Ah." Almost uncharacteristically, Han seemed to let the remark go, leaning back against the bench once again. He fell silent then as he allowed Lin to lean against him, the two of them keeping one another warm in the cool evening. Somewhere in the distance, he could still hear the faint rumble of the occasional car, but for the most part the city was easing itself into sleep. He had kept one arm around Lin's shoulders, and his fingers curled lightly into the fabric of Lin's coat, just below the seam of the shoulder, as though subconsciously concerned that Lin would try to get up and leave, or shift away from him, though consciously he knew this was not the case.

The silence had deepened for almost a minute before Han finally shifted again, the cold of the bench starting to seep through to his back at last. "So. . . have you eaten yet tonight?"

_________________
Image
"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


Top
 Profile  
 

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 8:52 pm GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
During the silence, Lin had allowed his focus, finally, to drift into the more painful thoughts that were shouting for attention in the back reaches of his mind. To Grant, and the home he so dearly missed still, even after so long without it and with no way to really gain it back. It was so strange to think that there had once been four people in his small family, and that he was the only one left now. That he would never marry, and that the bloodline, and name, would die with him. So strange. . .

Han's inquiry broke through after a moment and Lin sighed, raising a hand to rub at his face this time, the pain in his chest having faded off to a faint ache. "'Less ya count near a bottle'a bourbon dinner. . .then no." Thinking back now, he couldn't remember the last time he ate decently since Danny had announced he was moving out with Billy.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 

Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:18 pm GMT 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:59 am GMT
Posts: 56525
Location: proper tea is theft
Custom Title: Ahoy!
"Then it's not heartburn."

This time, there was no long pause, no thoughtful silence. The change in tone, however, was strikingly abrupt--businesslike and pointed. Already Han was sitting up, removing his arm from around Lin's shoulders so as to better face the other man. Instead, as though expecting his partner to make a break for it, he set his hands firmly on Lin's shoulders as though intending to keep him in his seat--and to draw the other man around to face him directly. His brown eyes, normally so tired or melancholy or affectionate, were hard now, his expression intense and difficult to read as he searched Lin's face. Likewise, though the volume of his voice remained low, the tone of his words made them sound more like a harsh demand than the flat question they were.

"Tell me honestly--how long have you been experiencing chest pains?"

_________________
Image
"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


Top
 Profile  
 

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:48 pm GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
At the sudden change in Han, Lin's ears flattened. He shifted, drawing in a slow breath and closing his eyes. He should've known better than to answer Han. Such a deceptively causal question. . . He should've known it was something else. No one asks such a casual question after hearing those kinds of fears. It had only been wishful thinking on Lin's part that he had even answered as he did. That, or senility.

"Han. . .Liebe, I'm fine," he said steadily, trying to carefully remove Han's hands from his shoulder. "I'm always fine. Ya shouldn't worry 'bout me."

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 

Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 1:49 am GMT 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:59 am GMT
Posts: 56525
Location: proper tea is theft
Custom Title: Ahoy!
"At least one of us does," he replied, his words curt and sharp with barely-contained anger. His hands merely gripped tighter, resisting Lin's attempts to free himself as though he intended to hold the other man put by force if necessary. This was a startling inclination, if only because it was the second time in their long acquaintance that Han had ever shown physically aggressive inclinations towards Lin--the first was on the night of their initial meeting when Han had misguidedly tried to sock him in the jaw. He was quite strong, though it had been decades since he'd last set foot on a rugby pitch, and this time he was determined to keep Lin from shaking him off.

"Danny's gone now, so it doesn't matter what happens to you--is that what you think? What am I supposed to do when you die of a treatable condition?"

_________________
Image
"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


Top
 Profile  
 

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 12:37 pm GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
And for the first time in their relationship, Lin met the anger head on with his own; he bristled, jaw clenching and ears flattening. However, he didn't try to pull away again. After all, Han was truthfully much stronger than him, and with his health deteriorating as it was already, there was no chance of using force to persuade the other man. And so he sat, back rigid and eyes narrowed, jaw working with no sound.

Because he had no defense for what Han had said. Whether or not Han was right, Lin couldn't say. Perhaps on some level, he had believed that. That he didn't matter anymore, with Danny gone. Regardless, he was indignant enough that Han had even said it.

He tightened his own grip on Han's wrist. "Let go, Han," he murmured, voice deadpan and almost steely.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 

Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 12:47 pm GMT 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:59 am GMT
Posts: 56525
Location: proper tea is theft
Custom Title: Ahoy!
"No." The word was harsh, short, a verbal slap. The volume of Han's voice had begun to creep higher in his agitation. He could tell Lin was angry, but it wasn't helping matters. Instead, it only seemed to increase his determination to get his point across--even if it meant telling Lin things he didn't want to hear. "Not until you understand that what you're doing to yourself--what you're doing to me is-- Christ, you're committing suicide, Lin, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you!"

_________________
Image
"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


Top
 Profile  
 

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 1:03 pm GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
The further the argument progressed, the less Lin had to defend himself with—every word that Han spoke was the truth. Perhaps it hadn't been entirely conscious, this passive suicide, but that was all it could be termed. An unwillingness to face it now, however, was what kept the tension in the air, what tightened Lin's grip on Han's wrist to the point where his claws were beginning to dig into the skin.

Perhaps it was the quiet fear, in the back of his mind, that he had served his purpose, that now he would be alone—even with Han. After all, Han was still needed by others, still had the clinic, and Jet. Still.

"And what do ya intend t'do? Fix an' old heart?" His teeth clenched all the tighter as well, and there was the faintest hint of anger in his tone now that spoke volumes more. "And will it really be worth th'time it'll keep you from the clinic?"

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 

Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 1:33 pm GMT 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:59 am GMT
Posts: 56525
Location: proper tea is theft
Custom Title: Ahoy!
"God damn you!" Han was no longer holding Lin's shoulders so much as gripping his lapels. The words had stung, perhaps because he secretly feared there was a grain of truth in them. "You want me to close it down? Is that what you want? I'll do it tonight--we can set a match to the whole fucking thing." It was only then that he released Lin, nearly pushing him away as he rose sharply to his feet, all weariness forgotten in his anger.

"I am so close to losing everything. Stefan. Jay. My family. My degree. My career. Now Jet is dying, and you think--you fucking think there's a thing I wouldn't give up if it kept me from losing you, too?" Han was almost shouting now, his fists clenched, on the verge of simply walking away--too angry even to stay.

_________________
Image
"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


Top
 Profile  
 

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 6:27 pm GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
Even as Han gripped his collar, pushed him back, Lin's own anger began to fade. It was draining to stay angry for too long anymore. As Han cursed, Lin simply leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, and let his head fall into his hands. He wasn't afraid of dying alone. He wasn't even afraid of dying at all.

He was far more terrified of living alone.

He'd done it before, years ago, but now. . .he couldn't imagine doing so again. With every day, it had become harder to work, to lift the crates, to stock, to do anything too strenuous that had once been effortless. It was age, he knew, and it had somehow crept mercilessly up on him. It was difficult to admit when he needed help, as well—and so it took all of his will to speak again.

The last of Han's words faded out, and there was a long moment of silence and Lin lifted his head enough to put his chin on his clasped hands. "I. . .don't rememah when they started, but. . .s'been ev'ry couple'a days these past two weeks. Achin', but they've gotten worse." He didn't look at the younger man as he spoke, keeping his eyes on the dark.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 

Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:02 pm GMT 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:59 am GMT
Posts: 56525
Location: proper tea is theft
Custom Title: Ahoy!
As the last of Lin's words left his mouth, Han's anger drained rapidly away. Nothing, however, took the anger's place. Suddenly he was left feeling very empty, and very alone. He sat heavily on the far end of the bench, leaving a few feet of space between himself and Lin still. As he slumped down in the seat, his hands fell limply to his sides, as though he didn't have the energy to lift them. He wasn't sure he did.

Once again, his world was on the verge of falling apart. Only this time, he was so tired. This time, he could see the disaster coming from a mile away, like a train heading at full speed for a ravine without a bridge. And this time, he was powerless to stop it.

_________________
Image
"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


Top
 Profile  
 

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:36 pm GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
All of Lin's words seemed to have been said now—he almost believed, somehow, that Han should be the one to decide things now. After all, it would hardly make a difference to him. But just as that feeling came, there was a voice in the back of his mind, one that had thus far remained silent, that seemed to say that it was merely some form of depression that caused that feeling and that it would pass soon enough.

A car rattled down the road somewhere in the night and Lin's ear flicked, his eyes soon moving to follow the car's suspected path, though he could hardly see to the end of the block. That simple movement changed something, somehow reminded him of just how cold it was; he sat up a little, enough to pull his jacket closer and turn his collar up against the gusts of chilling wind that tugged at there clothes. He suddenly wondered just how late it actually was.

The moment dragged and Lin whetted his lips—dry and slightly chapped from the wind—before drawing in a breath. ". . .What now?" he murmured, keeping his eyes turned away from Han.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 

Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:23 pm GMT 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:59 am GMT
Posts: 56525
Location: proper tea is theft
Custom Title: Ahoy!
For a long moment, there was no reply. Han listened to the nighttime quiet of the city, the same path of the car as it made its way down a dark, silent avenue. Christ, what would he give to be one of those ordinary people, asleep in bed, living a normal life, with a legal job and a healthy family he could afford to feed. A life in which he could wake up each morning without wondering, in the moment before he opened his eyes, whether someone else he cared for was dead.

Slowly, he sat up, just far forward enough to rest his elbows on his knees and raise his hands to cover his face. It was cold out tonight. Very cold. His voice, when he spoke, was flat and low and tired.

“I don’t know anymore.”

_________________
Image
"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


Top
 Profile  
 

Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Ein leeres Haus
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:19 am GMT 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 8:41 am GMT
Posts: 43651
Location: Language nerdery!
Custom Title: Amicitia concero omnis
Lin sighed at the answer, though he had half expected it. Han could only do so much, after all, and he couldn't provide an answer for everything--and Lin didn't expect him to. He had grown used to such questions and uncertainties in any case, so it didn't bother him unduly that there was another one to add. He sat back on the bench more fully, so that his back leaned against the backrest; it ached a bit, but then it usually did.

For the first time in fifteen or so minutes, Lin looked to the younger man. "Is there. . .anything I can do?" he murmured. It was anyone's guess which way he meant the question, however; anything he could do to stop his heart deteriorating, anything he could do to make his passing easier for Han, anything he could do to comfort, to heal, to stall. . .

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 73 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group