THE St. Louis Speakeasy
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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:53 pm GMT 
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Fritz sighed, but it was already clear to him that some form of wakefulness was inescapable. Stirring, he folded his arms behind his head for a moment, and contented himself with just watching Danny through half-closed eyes, But the warmth of the bed was already beginning to fade, and try as he might, he couldn't fall immediately back asleep. So instead he sat up, stretching his back with a broad yawn.

Slumping forward into his usual slouched posture, he raised a hand to prod tentatively at his black eye from the night before. Immediately, his face contorted into a grimace. It was only mildly less swollen, dark and shiny, and very tender to the touch. He had a bad taste in his mouth, and his throat felt dry, but at least he wasn't hungover.

He slid over to the side of the bed where Danny sat and wrapped his arms around the other man's waist. His cheek rested on Danny's shoulder. Mentally and physically, he was still very tired, but not in a way that would have permitted him to sleep. Warm mid-morning light poured in through the window, and he suspected that he would feel better after a shower and a brisk walk home in the fresh, sunlit air.

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"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 1:23 pm GMT 
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When Fritz's arms wrapped around his waist, Danny smiled lightly, a quiet purr starting in his chest. He set a hand on the other man's arm. Billy was never one to do that, to touch his skin (arms and face and neck aside), not unless they were about to have sex or had just finished. But not like this, for the sole reason of intimacy and being close. Danny had almost forgotten how much he missed it, this comfortableness in his own nakedness, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to tangle himself up in the other man again.

He turned slightly, enough to try and catch the man's mouth with his own. He could drown in these kisses that weren't as rough as Sascha's, not as gentle as Billy's - instead they put in an equivalent passion. They matched Danny's own. It was nice to not be torn by extremes. Even their eyes were extremes - eyes were, after all, windows to the soul (or so some thought) - Sascha's a dark grey like smoldering coals that would brand you, while Billy's were the color of crisp sky, or ice and could freeze just as easily.

Fritz's eyes were green - a safe color that reminded Danny of the soft moss that he'd sometimes used as bedding when he was a child. Safe, comforting somehow.

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— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 9:35 am GMT 
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At this moment, what Fritz most appreciated about Danny was that Danny wanted nothing from him. Nothing was withheld contingent on the children staying quiet and asleep, the kitchen being clean, an article being edited and proofread before its early morning deadline. Danny was not his obligation, not his responsibility. Fritz had long ago come to terms with the fact that he didn't wear the mantle of adult responsibility very well; in fact it was about the only part of himself that he'd made peace with. Whatever else you could say, at least Danny didn't confront him with that shortcoming by way of his mere presence.

He kissed Danny, then released the other man to flop back onto the bed, running his hands through his hair. He hadn't seen his hair yet, but suspected it would be sticking up at odd angles like it usually did in the morning. Soon he would have to decide whether to dress or shower (he was leaning toward the latter) but he wanted to stay in this moment for as long as possible.

Reaching over, he absently trailed a hand down Danny's spine, fingers brushing over the glossiness of his scars, the vertebral ridges beneath the skin. He'd spent a long time consumed with jealousy, watching him from afar--first with Billy, then later with Sascha. With Billy, he'd at least been able to understand, sort of, or to tell himself that Billy could provide the tenderness and stability Danny needed. But Sascha had disgusted him--as had the fact that Danny had chosen Sascha over Billy, or worse, Sascha over him. And now. . . what?

For now, he was at peace in a way he hadn't been in months. Any moment now he would be hit with a crushing wave of guilt and remorse. But what if he wasn't? What if he never felt sorry for this...?

The prospect almost made him giddy.

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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:05 am GMT 
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Danny let the kiss end somewhat unwillingly, though he did let the other man pull away. He turned his gaze instead to the floor that was littered with the dusty with shards of glass from the lightbulb; he wrinkled his nose at the mess, already wondering how best to clean it so that they could get up, but at the same time wanting to let it strand them on the narrow bed, where it was just the two of them. At least for a while longer.

He could feel faint tendrils of guilt but it was strange this time. This time, they were so much more faint, and something in him that had been frantic for weeks was finally calm and slumbering. He couldn't explain it, and didn't care to. It was enough that he could breathe without it choking him, that he could enjoy this moment without feeling as though he shouldn't.

He was brought from his musings by the light touch to his back; he drew in a shuddering breath and a smile curled at the edges of his mouth as his eyes drooped closed. "There's glass on th'floor," he murmured, rolling his shoulders at the faint burn of his scars. It didn't seem as though he was terribly concerned about the glass. "I kin walk over it an' get a broom. Kin't feel it 'nyway - but I'd need a bit'a help gettin' th'shards out aftah."

He looked over his shoulder then, spine twisting as he turned his upper body. A small smirk, those eyes laughing at the mussed hair. "Or we could jus' stay 'ere a while longer."

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What if we steal this city blind?
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Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 3:56 pm GMT 
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Fritz grimaced in his usual, exaggerated sort of way. "Danny... I can't believe you would ask me to pick broken glass out of your feet. That is really, truly disgusting." He shuddered and rubbed his arms, writhing deeper into the blankets.

"And besides," he added, his voice now slightly muffled by the bed covers, "even if you can't feel it, shouldn't you be worried about infection? After two weeks in a wheelchair, you were moping like your life depended on it. If you thought that was bad, I'd hate to see the look on your face when you lose a foot to gangrene."

Still, the effort of conjuring such gruesome imagery didn't stop him from snaking a hand out from beneath the blanket, nor from resting it on Danny's thigh in an inviting sort of way. For Fritz, bitchiness was something like the rough equivalent of foreplay.

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:00 pm GMT 
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Danny shrugged, chuckled. "Yea, well how else're we gonna get outta 'ere?" he asked, turning to straddle Fritz again. "Or are we jus' s'pposed t'stay in 'ere?"

He bent, trailing his lips down the other man's chest as his tail lashed playfully. "Should we. . .? Ya could. . .pay me back fer last night."

Because that was something Billy rarely did - and when he did, it was reluctant and restrained and Danny had noticed how he cried after, how quiet he became. He knew Billy wasn't the kind to do it, but Fritz was. Fritz could be his equal, and there was no power-play between them.

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Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 11:48 pm GMT 
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Should we was definitely the wrong choice of words. This thought provoked in Fritz a little twinge of guilt, which manifested as something like an oasis in the torrid desert of his moral landscape. He was not about to get worked up over as flimsy a matter as Danny's unfortunate choice of words. Still, he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut about it.

He'd made his decision, and wasn't about to punish himself agonizing over it. A little discreet perfidy wouldn't hurt anyone, so long as Danny kept his big mouth shut.

Propping himself up on one elbow, he spent a moment just quietly watching Danny. Fritz, when in a talkative mood, was chatty in the extreme; it was easy to overlook the way he was just as often silent, simply watching and taking in his surroundings. Truth was, watching Danny's bowed head, watching the muscles move in his shoulders and arms, he felt the faint stirrings of possessiveness, made all the more exciting by its transgressive nature. Like in the instant at the little wedding reception when he'd pulled Darla into a kiss and locked eyes with Danny over her shoulder. She hadn't seen, of course. She'd closed her eyes. But Danny had seen, and he knew it, and in that moment he'd felt a thrill unrelated to the woman in his arms, or the ring on his finger. In a split-second it was over, but he hadn't forgotten, and wondered now whether Danny remembered as well.

His free hand went to the nape of Danny's neck, fingers half-tangling in his hair. He sat up and, with a grip that was somewhat more demanding than coaxing, drew Danny up to pull him into a kiss.

That was it; the best of both worlds, and nothing sacrificed but a lingering sense of propriety which was more nuisance than asset in the long run, anyway. He was the cat that not only ate the canary, but knew full well he'd be getting away with it, too.

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"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:21 pm GMT 
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The possessiveness only increased Danny's heart rate and his breathing picked up, something stirring beneath his stomach, tightening. The kiss was harsh, passionate when their lips met and Danny's muscles tensed, hands and fingers gripping, pulling closer - wanting more. To be wanted like that, to be owned was a thrill and woke something in him that was shameful under different circumstances. He couldn't tell Billy, wasn't even certain that Sascha would be comfortable with it now, after everything he knew of Lutz.

It was a strange near-disease, this lust to be dominated and owned - even shamed. It wasn't his usual fare, but it was an occasional indulgence. And yet, he sometimes hated that he had told Sascha, told Billy about Lutz. In light of that history, it made this meaningless indulgence something more - gave it some twisted meaning to them.

He remembered the little wedding reception - remembered the look and the way that it had cut through him, raising both his anger and his arousal in one fell swoop. He had left soon after, muttered about how he needed rest, wasn't feeling well. It wasn't as though he could admit to the truth - that he had wanted to beat the man and fuck him simultaneously.

With that memory and the memory of the humiliation, his fingers closed over Fritz's throat, tightened and pressed back. It only lasted for a brief moment before he suddenly released the man and turned to drag him on top, switching their positions and dragging the man down for another forceful kiss, though it was clear that he was willing to give in this time, to be taken, used - that he wanted it that way.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 10:46 pm GMT 
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Fritz was not, by nature, a sadist. A thorough overview of his life choices would seem to indicate masochistic tendencies, if anything. Still, if it was degradation Danny wanted, he'd come to the right man. Fritz had made an art of aspersion, was a master of the dismissive glance, could wield an insult as deftly and casually as a surgeon's scalpel. When he turned his astute eye and mordant wit on himself, he made a pitiable spectacle. But he was just as harsh on those around him, and knew instinctively how to hurt with a word, how to excoriate with a glance. At times, it seemed as though he had a sixth sense for weakness.

He could certainly read Danny well enough.

So when it was over, when he'd released Danny's wrists and hair, he stayed just close enough to suggest that whatever he'd put Danny through here wasn't about to leave this room. That there was no animosity between them. Or maybe that there was, but it didn't matter.

Of course, what they had done--he wouldn't have dreamed of even suggesting such a thing to Darla. He didn't want to horrify her, didn't want her to think of him as any more base or deviant than she doubtless already did.

He lay on his side next to Danny, his head on the pillow, one arm resting casually over Danny's waist. This was it, this was what he'd told himself a hundred times he would never do, and he had enjoyed every second. From here, there was no going back.

When he spoke, however, it was in his usual nonchalant drawl, half-muffled by the angle of his face against the pillow. "Of course, there's still the matter of broken glass all over the floor..."

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"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:22 pm GMT 
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Danny was left panting, eyes squeezed closed and coming down from the strange desperation that always came with that weakness. He wasn't sure why he enjoyed it - some form of twisted masochism, perhaps. It felt as though he was being flayed alive, all his faults and flaws and guilt dragged out into the light and laid on display. When it was over, he lay there, open still and bleeding into the air; his hands were trembling still.

As the last remnants of the sharp and bitter taste of failure began to fade, Danny closed his eyes. In the silence and somehow contradictory warmth of the other man's body, he began to quietly pull himself back, bury the secrets and cover the wounds again. Fritz's lazy drawl washed over him and he smirked, though it was distant and distracted. "I s'ppose we could jus'. . .try an' grab our shoes - wherevah th'hell they got to."

He opened an eye to regard the other man for a moment.

Strangely, he felt calm despite the tremor that plagued his hands - he felt secure, though the feeling was beginning to fade. He'd forgotten how easy - how strangely comforting it was to submit, to be owned like that. A part of him almost missed it. It took away the pain of failure and mistakes made. After all, you couldn't make mistakes if you had no free will. It was a freeing emptiness, in a way.

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Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 1:29 am GMT 
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After a moment spent listening in silence, he shifted to lie close against Danny. Not too long ago he'd been ready to get up and start the day, but suddenly he felt as though he could go back to sleep if he only closed his eyes. Amidst the tangled sheets, his hand found a natural resting place on Danny's side, just between his hip and ribcage. His fingers slipped easily into the slight hollows between Danny's ribs, though occasionally they shifted away to trail across his skin.

He had missed this intimacy more than anything, as much as the sex--or almost. He and Darla slept in the same bed, but it felt as though they were miles apart. Some nights she would lie close to him, and he would know from the rhythm of her breathing that she was awake. She would let him pull her close and hold her in the darkness, but as soon as he went for the buttons of her nightdress, she would brush him away. Most of the time, he would lie still for another ten minutes or so, either because he was wallowing in self-pity or because he hoped for some kind of a reprieve. In the end, though, he would usually disengage, roll over, and sleep with his back turned to her, as hers was to him.

Now, studying Danny's profile, it stuck him again how much he resembled his half-sister. Not that the similarity was glaringly obvious; a casual observer would be too distracted by Darla's scar to even really see her features. And even then, Danny's face was too angular, Darla's too delicate. It was there, though. Fritz saw it, in the shape and angle of their eyes, the line of the nose, the curve of the mouth. He could see it at times when they made the same expressions, the same nervous smile or frown of annoyance.

And they were his. Both of them, in a way. The thought was enough to fill him with hot, possessive pride, not unlike that of the lifelong art collector who has at last assembled a matched set.

"Maybe if we holler loud enough, we can get Benjy up here with a dustpan."

Anyone who saw Fritz then would have assumed this remark was the cause of his smirk.

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"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 5:09 pm GMT 
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Danny snorted at that, not seeing the smirk but knowing it was there just the same. After all, he always knew when the other man was smirking, when he was glowering, when he was irritated. . . With Fritz, he didn't have to guess - the knowledge was somehow intuitive. He relaxed at the hand on his side, feeling for once that there was nothing to prove.

"Don't fuckin' hollah fer 'im," he muttered. "Ya wouldn't dare." He lifted his head and flashed his own smirk. "Ya wouldn't want yer wife t'find out 'bout this. What a scandle that'd be in yer perfect 'Merican dream life."

He sat up then, trying to shake off the slight twinge of bitterness that had clung to barb. He busied himself fishing up their shoes, making sure there were no lingering shards of glass on them before tossing Fritz his pair and starting to slip on his own. "I should clean up th'glass, I s'ppose. 'Fore I ferget."

Still, he didn't bother to get up just yet and he didn't look back at the other man.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:31 pm GMT 
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"Oh, my dream life?" he repeated testily, his eyebrows shooting up.

For an instant sharp words hovered on the tip of his tongue. He resented the implication that he was the only one taking a risk here, that he was the only one with anything to lose. Still, a part of him knew Danny was right. What he had now, with Darla and the children--this was as good as it would ever get. He'd been lucky as hell just to live this long, much less to land a wife, and a house, to have two healthy children.

One thing was for sure: he had no intention of throwing it away.

As his anger dissipated, he sat up and shifted to sit behind Danny. He ignored his shoes for the time being, and instead wrapped his arms around Danny's waist. A moment passed in which Fritz made no other move than to hold him close, his head resting near the nape of Danny's neck. Then, without looking up, he murmured, "This doesn't have to hurt anyone, Danny. It won't. Not if we're careful."

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:36 pm GMT 
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The words were comforting, coaxing - it was so tempting to just simply believe them and let the other man close. It had, after all, been so long since he'd had this sort of relationship, one in which there was no pressure to be perfect, no worries about what to do or what not to do in regards of the other person. There was no intense fear of losing anything, because it was never really his this way. It was something shared, not owned. He relaxed back into Fritz's hold for a moment.

"We'd have t'meet at hotels," he murmured lowly, closing his eyes. "An' someone we know could see us - like ya saw me an' Hectah." He shook his head at the memory of the wolf, tensing again, despite the touch. "It ain't a shor thing, ev'n if we're careful."

An' I don't wanna hurt Billy like that again - he doesn't deserve it. An' I don't wanna be that person. . . He swallowed hard, a hand coming up to grip Fritz's wrist. Then suddenly: "Why?" Danny's let his head fall forward, eyes still closed. "Why me? Why. . .do this?"

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:36 pm GMT 
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"Are you... blaming me?" he demanded incredulously. He dropped his arms from around Danny's waist, and if Danny hadn't been gripping his wrist, might have gotten up and left. Well, except for the part where he wasn't dressed and there was broken glass all over the floor, but even so.

"Look, I don't know about you, but I was drunk as hell last night. I didn't ask you to come looking for me." He tugged his wrist against Danny's grip, trying to pull free. Suddenly he was furious at Danny for moping, for blowing everything out of proportion. Whatever peace or contentment he'd felt had evaporated in an instant.

"This just happened, okay?" he snapped. "And it's not going to un-happen, no matter what, so the least you can do is not be a whiny bitch about it. Let go of me."

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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