THE St. Louis Speakeasy
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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:38 am GMT 
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It was strange, but the words gave Danny some pause. He searched Fritz's expression, noticed the little hesitations, stalls. When the man finally spoke, Danny was quiet for a long while, eyes distant and not truly seeing the other man, though he had focused as well on the unlit cigarette. He was thinking, turning over the words, everything, in his mind. It was a side of Danny that was rarely seen unless the man had had a few glasses of some alcohol or another.

Finally, he sighed, moving to run his hand lightly through Fritz's hair, gently. "M'sorry," he murmured quietly, feeling an odd kindred for a moment, and a gaping chasm simultaneously.

He said nothing else for the moment, simply moving to lay beside the other man. He didn't curl up to him as he once would have, though had Fritz done so he would not turn him away. He couldn't comfort the man, wasn't sure what to say to do so. There were no jokes that he could think to make, either.

And so the silence settled around them as they lay, the faint sounds of the bar beneath them wafting in the air. Danny shut his eyes.

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What if we steal this city blind?
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— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:15 pm GMT 
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The soft brush of Danny's fingers through his hair was enough to fill him with an unexpected rush of melancholy. Even so, it was a comforting gesture, of the simple everyday sort he had come to crave without even realizing it. And suddenly he found himself overly conscious of how close he lay to Danny, hearing each soft pull of the other man's breath a little too acutely. A faint shiver ran through him. It had been a long time since he'd been this close to anyone but Darla.

As if by an act of desperation, he quickly stuck the cigarette back into his mouth and shoved a hand into his pocket for his lighter. It had been too long since his last cigarette in any case, and he needed it to calm his fraying nerves. He knew Danny had an aversion to cigarette smoke, but at this juncture he didn't particularly care. The eye which Danny had punched earlier was already beginning to bruise and swell, and he suspected that come morning he would be unable to open it.

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"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 5:27 pm GMT 
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Danny grumbled lightly as Fritz pulled out his lighter, having opened his eyes again. It was strange to lay here, like this, so close. It had been somewhat strange between him, after Darla. After all, Danny was sure they could both remember how they'd met and what had followed, even if it hadn't been repeated. Still, he couldn't help but idly wonder what would've happened if things hadn't gone the way they had.

He didn't stop the man though, for once he simply didn't care. He sighed quietly to himself. ". . .Shit."

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Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 8:19 pm GMT 
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He found the lighter in his pocket, but in his haste he nearly dropped it. It took a moment or so of fumbling before he had it upright and secure once again in his grip, and he was able to light his cigarette. Rather than tuck the lighter away again, he simply dropped it onto the bedside table and let his hand fall to rest on his chest. For a long minute he lay still, slowly breathing in the bitter smoke. At last he reached up and took the cigarette out of his mouth, exhaling a thick, lazy curl of smoke with his eyes closed. That was all he'd needed, really, and so he lightly snuffed out the cigarette with his fingers and dropped it beside the lighter.

The smell of cigarettes comforted him, in a way he wasn't sure Danny could understand. He didn't fully trust himself to explain that the scent of these cigarettes was the only constant he'd carried with him for the better part of his life, even as it had taken him from country to country, city to city, across an ocean and further still. He could still remember smoking his first cigarette when he was ten, maybe eleven years old, and it was the closest thing he'd had to consistency in his life since then. The familiar scent of the smoke was a comfort he could always rely on, even when everyone else in the world failed him, as they tended to do. Even on the all too numerous occasions when he had failed himself.

As the scent of the smoke diffused and faded into the room, Fritz found himself increasingly conscious of how close he lay to Danny on a bed which, all things considered, was really somewhat narrow. He'd been careful so far--painstakingly careful, because he didn't trust himself, because he'd failed a dozen times too often already. On another night, he would have risen abruptly to his feet and given a curt farewell, his brusque tone a mask for the tug of reluctance in his gut. But tonight he was drunk and homesick and feeling very alone. Rolling onto his side, he pulled Danny close against him and buried his face in the other man's neck.

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:38 pm GMT 
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The movement usually would have startled the other man and have him half way across the room in a heartbeat but now, intoxicated and just as lonely, he merely returned the embrace, holding Fritz close. He simply took in the warmth of the other man, and the comfort of feeling someone close. It was only for a moment that he closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling before he opened them again, fixing them on the ceiling. The rickety fan spun in slow circles, and he he let his mind wander.

Something in the back of his mind whispered that he shouldn't let the other man so close. With their combined histories and failures, it was a risky thing to allow. But he was warm, and Danny was comfortable. Nothing would happen - surely they weren't drunk enough for anything to. . .

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:49 pm GMT 
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"Danousek--" he began, then seemed to falter and fall silent. It had been a long time since he'd addressed Danny this way, with the Czech pet name for Daniel. Danes. Danousek. His voice was a low murmur, his breath warm against the other man's jaw. He was very aware of how close they were. Even drunk, it was hard not to be. Fritz could feel the heat of Danny's body warming him, and the way Danny's heart was beating against his chest made it hard to tell that pulse from his own.

In the first few months of knowing Danny, Fritz recalled somehow convincing himself that he had feelings for this man that ran deeper than friendship. Danny had been the first man to make him feel vulnerable in unexpected ways, forcing him to question everything he thought he'd known about himself. On top of it all, he'd been depressed, drinking heavily. Concussed. Still killing people for money. Since that time, though, despite a few transgressions with other men, Fritz had largely come to believe that he had simply been confused about Danny, about what his feelings and desires had meant. And it hadn't been too hard to convince himself, once he and Darla had married and settled down, that he'd been right about himself and about Danny. The more stable his own life had become, the more Danny's had seemed to spin out of control. And although he would never have breathed a word of it to either one of the Raines siblings, he couldn't help but think, That's what happens to people like you.

Like you. Like Danny. Because Danny was different from him; one more thing in Fritz's past of which he was less than proud. So he'd thought.

Or rather, so he'd wanted to think.

Now that he was tired and drunk and heartsick, it was a thousand times easier to let those fragile walls come crumbling down.

"Danousek," he began again. But this time, instead of falling silent, he interrupted his own words by catching Danny's mouth in a kiss, raising one hand to cradle the side of his face. And when he drew away, the tone of his voice was somewhere between pleading desperation and determined persistence. "--don't leave me. Stay with me tonight. Don't leave me alone."

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:53 pm GMT 
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The past was something that must have hung heavy in the air around them as it was on Danny's mind as well. Hard not to remember that they had first slept together on this very bed, the first night they had met - it seemed so long ago now. Things had been so much simpler then, and Danny wondered idly how it would have been if he hadn't gone with Billy, if he hadn't broken from the lifestyle that he had come to be so accustomed to.

At the whisper of the name, Danny stirred, beginning to turn his head to look at the other man, the pet name having grabbed his attention - but he froze when those lips touched his own. All higher functions seemed to stop, and he sucked in a breath through his nose. He tensed, a fleeting thought of Billy rushing through his mind before the plea washed it away.

He drew in another, far more shaky breath through his mouth. "I won't. . .I'll stay," he murmured, pulling the man all the closer and burying his nose in the man's hair, drawing in that smell of cigarettes that now had two meanings to him, dragged forth different memories he'd tried to forget, or at least make fade somewhat. "I'll stay - tonight."

Already he could feel his heartbeat pick up, the breaths coming a bit quicker. He pulled back then, taking the man's jaw between his hands and pressing his lips to the other man's again, wanting, aching to be closer.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:07 am GMT 
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In the same moment, Fritz latched onto Danny, grabbing fistfuls of the other man's shirt as he rolled onto his back on the cramped bed, pulling Danny with him. The alcohol was hitting him hard, and this simple movement was itself a little dizzying. His black eye was deepening in color, swollen shut, and he could scarcely keep his other eye open. Still, it bothered him that Danny had left the light on. It made all this feel more sordid than it already was.

"Danny--turn off the light," he muttered, though he made no move to release his hold on the other man. Instead, Fritz pulled him closer, as though unwilling to let go.

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 6:32 pm GMT 
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The words, the quiet plea, drew a low and irritated growl from Danny; he fumbled with his shoulder holster, pulling it off and pulling one of the guns free as he let the rest fall - he aimed over his shoulder, pulled the trigger. The shot cracked through the small room like lightning with an accompanying flash and rain of sparks. Danny paid it no mind, pressing closer in the new dark that enveloped them, that would hide this sin.

With the light gone, things moved quickly - a desperate scramble of hands and fingers, the rustling like leaves assaulted by a strong wind of layers of clothing being shed. Thin hands like iron shackles held him down, ran across his skin like fire-brands. Pain, desperation, hunger - was this passion? Or merely frustration overflowed? Was this an escape from stagnation?

He didn't know.

He wouldn't care until tomorrow, when he remembered who it was that he had betrayed and who it was that he kissed now.

He pressed close, his gasps and cries muted and silenced against the other's chest, lips brushing maddeningly against sensitive skin, no more than a breath beneath the jazz and cheers that seeped up from the bar below, the dancers carrying on without a care for the promises and vows that were being broken above them.

Danny panted softly, shuddered as a draft sent a chill to his bones as he arched his sweat-drenched back. He wasn't sure now where Fritz ended and he began, who held who in the dark - who's sin this was.

"I'll leave him." The words were whispered, so quiet - rasped out like a piece of paper being torn in two. "Just ask - just ask. . ." The words were nearly lost to the dark, but they made Danny's heart tremble - though from excitement or fear he couldn't say.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 1:22 pm GMT 
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The sound of the gunshot made him laugh, the sound low in his throat. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so alive. Danny had that effect on him; not the melancholy lovelorn Danny of the past year, but the old Danny. The Danny who would shoot out a light fixture without a second thought.

Afterward, when he felt the stir of those shuddering words against his skin, he said nothing as he mulled them over in silence. He drew Danny closer to him and cradled the other man's head against the side of his neck. It was dark, and even the faint light of stars and streetlamps didn't penetrate to this end of the little room. So he kept his good eye closed too as he ran his fingers through the Danny's damp hair, smoothing it back from his forehead.

He wouldn't leave Darla and the children. He couldn't have, even if he'd wanted to. However much he might have wanted to say yes to Danny in that moment, it wouldn't have been fair; he suspected they both knew that.

Darla. Already the thought of going home the following morning filled him with a quiet, gnawing dread, but he put it off for now. As much as he might have wished it were otherwise, he wasn't sorry for this, for what he'd done. Not yet, anyway. But he was afraid that, once the sun rose, things would be different; that Danny would withdraw, distance himself again as shame caught up with him.

If only the two of them could just stay there in darkness.

His fingers came to rest at the nape of Danny's neck. He was still feeling pleasantly light-headed from the alcohol, but sleepiness was beginning to overtake him. All at once, he was filled with a desperate need to fight the urge to sleep, afraid that if he let this night slip away from him, they would wake up mortified and guilt-ridden, and would go their separate ways. Sinking deeper into the mattress, he pulled Danny closer, until he could feel that heartbeat against his own.

He wished tomorrow would never come.

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:01 pm GMT 
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The lack of reply didn't surprise Danny - the fact that the question had slipped out at all did. Did he want to leave Billy? It seemed a waste to do so, after everything that they had been through, and after how hard Danny had fought to prove to the other man that love was not just for women. Such a waste to now cast the man aside. Especially after Sascha - Argentina.

He could still smell the garden of the blue house, feel the way that the sun had fallen, slanted, over the three of them as they laid naked on the floor.

A shudder left him clinging tightly to the other man. There was too much history there, too much to carry. Fritz was uncomplicated - or at least whatever it was they had was uncomplicated. It was sex and cigarette smoke and laughter. Friendly banter. There were no strings to this, he thought, conveniently ignoring the noose of sin that looped their throats.

But even that was simple: Don't get caught.

The guilt would start in the morning - he already knew that much - but he knew just as firmly that he would want this again. He was weak, he didn't bother to deny that, and now that he'd had a taste, he would want more. There was no thrill like adultery, really. It was an aphrodisiac.

It had been been a month before he'd met Billy that he'd last had an affair with a married woman. She'd been bored and the scruffy ruffian had been a delightful pastime. He hadn't minded being used - for once, he hadn't been the initiator, and it suited him just as well.

Danny sighed, feeling the same heaviness now that Fritz did, his eyes drooping closed and his grip lessening. There would be no shame when he awoke, though there would be plenty of guilt - for now, his mind contented itself with reruns of the woman in beige that had pursued him despite the ring on her finger.


The sun was sharp, almost cutting, as it fell through the drawn and ragged drapes and across their faces. Danny grumbled to himself, seeing fire behind his eyelids and he shifted to try and bury his face in the other man's neck, his hands pulling Fritz closer against the chill.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:10 am GMT 
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As Fritz stirred and rolled closer, he was not yet awake. Unusually vivid dreams had temporarily superseded his recollections of the night before. In the first second when he opened his eyes to a unfamiliar ceiling, he felt a stab of panic, not knowing where he was or how he'd gotten there. Then he recognized the walls of Danny's room, and instantly relaxed. Already whatever he'd been dreaming was gone, forgotten.

The second thought which occurred to him when he noted the slant and golden glow of the light, was that he would be late for work. And in that instant, with a surge of relief, he knew he'd be quitting his job. He could make a decent living elsewhere, without the precariousness of working under a false identity. It had been putting a strain on him, and he hated it; even the thought of going in to the office to collect whatever useless files he'd accumulated filled him with revulsion. He'd just drawn a paycheck, which would tide over the family until he settled on another line of work. It was less of a decision and more of an epiphany; as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it was the right choice.

Besides, he wouldn't have wanted to explain his black eye at the office anyway.

With this pressure out of the way, he pulled the blankets higher to cover his shoulders. Danny's bed was narrow compared to the mattress he'd gotten used to sharing with Darla, and their limbs seemed pretty well entangled now. It didn't matter though, because as far as Fritz was concerned, for the time being he had nowhere he had to go. He drew Danny closer, shut his eyes, and tried to go back to sleep.

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:31 am GMT 
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Danny's eyes opened almost unwillingly at the movement and his vision filled with the slightly golden glean of Fritz's fur in the morning light. For a brief moment, Danny was almost grateful that it wasn't the dull black he'd grown used to. Better to start the day in gold rather than coal.

And yet, that was the perfect parallel. Coal was comfort - the means to warmth and survive, while gold was nothing more than spending money or a hunk of metal.

He didn't dwell on it, however. "Mm. . .Fritz. . .?" His voice was full of sleep, muffled by Fritz's shoulder. "We. . .gettin' up. . .?"

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

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Ahoy!
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:24 pm GMT 
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It was a good thing Danny had kept his thoughts to himself; Fritz would probably not have appreciated the conclusions of such an assessment.

Under other circumstances, he would have found such a question annoying, and would probably have gone out of his way to ridicule it. Well, I'm not getting up. Are you getting up? Because 'we' are not getting up; either you are, or neither of us is. Now, if you're done asking stupid questions I'm going back to sleep for as long as I damn well can, thank you. He hated the assumption that he was somehow responsible for making decisions for both of them.

That was one of the things about Darla which had been vaguely endearing at first, but which had later grated increasingly on his nerves until it drove him up the wall. He hated being asked these subjective little questions, day in and day out. It made him feel harassed. Finally he would snap at her that he didn't care, that she should just make up her own damn mind. Then the questions would stop, and he would sense her wounded feelings and regret having been so brusque, until a few days later the cycle would begin again.

This time, he didn't even bother to open his eyes.

"No. Go back to sleep."

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"Because studies have shown that dvorak's a genius" - Dass
"On a side note, dvorak, looks like the Pope is recognising your authority in Sainting people. Can only be one person representing God on earth at a time" -TFP


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Amicitia concero omnis
 Post subject: Re: Those were the days
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:52 pm GMT 
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Danny shrugged lightly, hardly caring if the words were somewhat clipped. He hadn't really felt like getting up anyway and so only pulled the other man closer. He didn't have anything else to do that day, and only a simple hit job that evening. There was no rush. And the sharp, grumbled decision was almost comforting - after all, Billy was rarely so decisive. It was nice to not have to make a decision for once.

However, after another hour of dozing, he woke again - this time with a slight headache and a restlessness in his legs. He yawned, opening one eye. "Mm. . .m'gettin' up - you comin'?" It wasn't really the kind of question that needed an answer; Danny was already disentangling himself and sitting up. He didn't immediately start pulling on his clothes, though. For once, he didn't feel the need that he seemed to when he was with Billy.

_________________
Play it across the table
What if we steal this city blind?
If they want anything, let 'em nail it down.
— Carl Sandburg


Det tog 25 år att ens komma så här långt och jag ser en framtid där jag kunde bli något stort...

Characters, and Timelines! Char solos!


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