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C.A.S
 Post subject: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:50 am GMT 
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(I post here a brief description of a story inspired by one of my weirdest dreams. It's meant to be brief but I just couldn't help having written pages. The story contains a few fantasy elements but is set in a historical background. Historical details may not be so accurate since there are still a lot of researches needed to be done if I really want to finish this story. Feedbacks appreciated.)

1.

The story took place in the Ruhr, Germany, 1946 or 1947, shortly after the war which means the area was still under British occupation at the time. Mathew was an American liaison officer stationed in the British occupying force. He might also be working undercover for American intelligence against possible Soviet infiltration.

One day Mathew encountered quite a hot dame in the Kneipe. She spoke English but had a German accent. She called herself Ingrid and told Mathew that she came from Frankfurt to reclaim a family property which had been confiscated by the Nazi government during the war. Having heard about Mathew’s contacts within the military government, Ingrid decided to approach him seeking some kind of support. The deal was if Mathew could help her get the property - a factory to be exact – back, she would sell it and reward him economically with some of the money she received.

Later on Ingrid explained to Mathew how she was entitled to the property. She said that the factory owner’s wife was actually her aunt. After the owner and his wife’s death, the property should be passed on to their only daughter who had been missing for several years, presumably dead already. In that case, the girl’s closest relative, which happened to be Ingrid herself, had just the right to take over, as she also intended to.

Heavily drunk, Mathew didn’t pay much attention to Ingrid’s proposal at first. He escorted her back to her hotel suite, went home and immediately hit the sack. It was not until the next morning he became able to recall their talk the night before. He thought about the whole deal then decided to have a look at the factory Ingrid had mentioned himself. Before Mathew set off a contact of his in the military called, giving him some background stories referring to this factory business.

As the contact described, the previous owner of the factory had enjoyed a wonderful success during the Weimar period. However it didn’t last long. The owner suffered a great loss when crisis struck and then, following his wife’s sudden death, committed suicide in his own office. The only child this couple had, a little girl name Agnes, who was supposed to inherit the family property, also disappeared several months after her parents’ passing away, making the responsibility of keeping the business, along with its ownership, fall into her guardian’s hands. This particular person, the guardian, was at the time the factory’s manager and the family’s friend of old. He did manage to make ends meet for a while. But being a Jew as well as a Socialist, eventually he was thrown into a concentration camp after Hitler came to power. That was when the Nazi government confiscated the factory since it was considered a Jew’s property.


Last edited by stuka on Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:58 am GMT, edited 2 times in total.

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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:51 am GMT 
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2.

By the time Mathew arrived at the place, the front gate of the factory was closed. It seemed to be empty. Mathew climbed up the wall and went into the compound. The factory was composed of a large factory building and an administration building. In spite of the whole area having been heavily bombed by the allies merely one or two years ago, Mathew found both buildings and all the equipment in them quite intact, which meant that if Ingrid really managed to get rid of the factory, there might be a great amount of money in it. Mathew got satisfied and returned.

Outside his own apartment, Mathew was informed by the porter that a young lady had visited this afternoon. Having waited for hours without seeing him, she left a message saying she was about to go to the factory herself. Since it was already dark outside Mathew went to Ingrid’s hotel to check whether she had returned safely or not. She wasn’t there. Mathew became a little bit worried, so he drove to the factory again looking for her.

This time the front gate was wide open. Surprisingly, the front door of the administration building was too open. Mathew went into the building, entering an empty hallway, only to find that all doors were sealed with thick planks. Having no other way, he run up stairs into a long corridor, then picked the first door he saw and opened it. When Mathew was entering the room, someone tried hitting him from behind with something. However Mathew avoided being knocked out by seizing the weapon. It was a wooden stick. Then he realized it was in fact Ingrid who attempted to assault him.

She told him that she had mistaken him for some bad guy inside the building. She also said that when she first got into the building, she was attacked by that bad one with a handgun. The only thing she could think of at that time was looking for somewhere to hide and defend herself. She said she never wanted to hurt anyone.

Mathew believed Ingrid’s story. They got back in the corridor and were shocked by it now thoroughly lit and decorated brand-new. Just as they were trying to figure things out, a man appeared at the other end of the corridor. He shot at them. Mathew and Ingrid scarcely escaped the shots, taking cover behind a wall. When the gunman approached, Mathew fought him. During a chaotic wrestle, the handgun misfired, killing its owner instantly.

Mathew took the gun. As he was examining the body, Ingrid had a look at the dead man. She could not bear the scene and panicked. Not being able to speak out any proper word, she ran away from the body towards the staircase. Mathew followed her. But the stairs did not lead to the hallway as he thought. Instead it just kept descending without an end.


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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:51 am GMT 
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3.

Ultimately Mathew caught up with Ingrid. She calmed down and begun to tell him what she knew about that dead man. He was the factory doorman’s youngest son who had attempted to assassinate the factory manager, using a similar handgun, in the twenties due to the latter being a leftist. And he was supposed to have died of some disease in the thirties. She did not know why someone died so long ago was here.

Mathew didn’t buy her story this time. He assumed maybe she was just so frightened by the death scene that she begun to make things up.

However it was not made up. Mathew intended to leave the building but couldn’t find an exit. Finally the stairs led them to some place under the building resembling a metro station. There was an old small train parked on the rails. They had no choice rather than taking a ride. The train carried them to another station and stopped. This station was beneath the factory building.

After their arrival in the factory building odd things started to happen. Workers who used to work here but were thought to have been dismissed long ago showed up. Most of them were disabled by accidents in production, losing their fingers, arms, legs or even heads. Nazi soldiers that had defended the area against US airborne during Operation Varsity rise from their graves to fight again. Machines in the factory begun to move, seeking human flesh to swallow and crash. All this was like a nightmare.

And all this was somehow connected with the factory’s past. The more bizarre things Mathew and Ingrid saw in the factory, the more Ingrid came to remember. It seemed like she kept a considerable range of knowledge regarding the factory’s history. She even knew things that would never be possible for her to know since her appearance suggested that she could hardly be born before 1920, which gradually made Mathew skeptical about her true identity. Ultimately he couldn’t help questioning her after dramatically receiving a call from one of his colleagues in the army in Frankfurt saying that Agnes’s mother never had any sibling. This meant Ingrid could never be a relative to the factory owner as long as she still used the ‘owner’s wife is my aunt’ story.


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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:52 am GMT 
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4.

Interrogated by him, Ingrid collapsed emotionally, recalling after severe inner struggle that actually she wasn’t anyone else but Agnes, the factory owner’s only daughter who disappeared more than a decade ago.

Right after Ingrid’s, or to be more accurate Agnes’s confession, a huge deep well emerged on the ground inside the factory building. One two-faced monster with a hideously long neck crawled out and spoke to Mathew and Agnes. It(They) asserted that it(they) was(were) Agnes’s parent(s) in hell and demanded her back. Then the monster told them something about her.

When Agnes was still a child, she suffered some fatal disease. So as to save her at all cost, her mother – bearing the name of Ingrid – performed some kind of witchcraft and summoned the devil. She offered her own soul in exchange for her daughter’s life but the devil would only take the girl’s soul. She agreed, therefore saved Agnes. But the price was too high. Adopted by the devil, Agnes carried a curse that would only bring doom to those close to her. The first to fall was her mother, then her father. One by one, workers in the factory were harmed in one way or another. Finally even her guardian, the beloved friend of her family was sent to his destruction. And it would never stop. In fact, bearing such a wicked trait, Agnes should never be allowed to come near any living human being. The only place she belonged to was hell.

Having been informed of all this, Mathew couldn’t say a word. The only thing on his mind was he could not allow the devil to take the girl away, no matter her name was really Ingrid or Agnes. He tried to battle the monster, but could not triumph. Meanwhile, watching Mathew risking his life in order to stop the devil, Agnes realized that what the monster said might be true as she would for another time ruin someone if she didn’t go with the monster. Thus she did. She turned into a little girl just like when she disappeared and then, along with all the monstrosities, vanished into thin air.


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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:52 am GMT 
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5.

Mathew could not believe what he just saw. After Agnes was gone, the factory went straightaway back to normal as what Mathew had seen earlier in the day. And right now it was already dawn. Mathew investigated the entire factory looking for evidence of what he had witnessed and also of Agnes, but couldn’t find a clue. He went back home, assuming it was no more than a bad dream.

Unable to forget, he only got drunk and depressed for a couple of days, until one late midnight, while he was forced out of the bar, he happened to see an old newspaper published during the war. On that newspaper, there was a piece of news reporting Agnes’s father’s factory burnt down after an air raid with a photograph of the factory razed to the ground attached.

It was only then Mathew started to notice something wrong. He went back to the factory the next morning and found merely rubbles. On the rubbles stood a lean old man. The old man saw Mathew and asked him whether he knew the place or not. Mathew nodded. The old man kept talking, expressing his devotion to this former factory.

He said that he first met the factory owner in a French prison camp during the first Great War. They were both privates in Reichswehr held as POWs at the time. Later they became very close friends which was quite a strange thing since the two had such dissimilar characters, one being a radical socialist, a well-educated Jew, an idealist, and the other being rather a cynical playboy who enlisted solely because of boredom, the son and heir of an industrialist, and majorly a pragmatist. The former’s name was Alfred, while the latter was named Thomas.

After the war, they both went home. When Thomas’s father died he took charge of his father’s factory. The first thing he did in charge was inviting Alfred to collaborate with him and act as manager. They enjoyed a great time together, contributing each in their own way to their shared business. Then they met Ingrid. She was a slightly older woman. She was beautiful. She was mysterious and usually sad. They both fell in love with her. Ah, it was such a golden period in their lives. The two young men would do anything for their love, to make her happy, to make her smile. But it was at last Thomas who was always the gentler and more romantic one of the two that took her hand in marriage. As for Alfred, he stepped aside, looking at the newly-married couple without any jealousy and preyed so sincerely by heart for their well-being.

A few years later, they got Agnes. From the time she was born, the girl had been like one little princess to all three of them. Meanwhile, Thomas and Alfred’s business started to boom, providing them with the possibility of a lifestyle more than luxury. But it took more than money to preserve happiness, especially when positive cash flow was solely temporary. When the Great Depression took place, things turned unpleasant. Because there was no more order and Thomas could not borrow any money to maintain the factory any more he had no choice but to shut it down, which didn’t keep creditors and workers who hadn’t been paid for months from blocking his door and occupying the factory. That was still not the worst.


Last edited by stuka on Sun Nov 08, 2015 5:06 am GMT, edited 2 times in total.

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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:53 am GMT 
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6.

In 1932 the political climate in Germany went tense. Extremists from different factions fought on the streets. More and more votes went in favor of those National Socialists. Brüning tried to reform but was ‘stabbed in the back’ even before his attempts showed any major achievement. In order to acquire more practical benefits from such trend, Thomas joined the Nazi party. Although he still wished to keep Alfred, the manager, angry at his friend’s even pretended siding which he naturally considered a betrayal, resigned after a severe quarrel with the former.

It was at this time as well when Agnes fell ill, suffering a fever that just couldn’t be cured. Worrying about her daughter, Ingrid accompanied Agnes wordlessly day and night, barely ate, and barely slept. She became sadder than ever. In the end while Agnes recovered, her mother didn’t survive. Ingrid’s miserable death smashed Thomas’s heart. In desperation, he shot himself in the head in his office, minutes before Alfred arrived to stop him, leaving his daughter under the care of his best friend in life and collaborator. It was 1933, in which year Hindenburg nominated Hitler as the new chancellor of the Weimar Republic.

Having to witness the very destruction of two persons he both had admired so much, Alfred now knew only one reason to keep going. That reason was Agnes. He worked harder than ever, seeking rescue of the factory. He hardly had any time to spend with Agnes. When the factory finally was saved due to his efforts, Agnes was gone. Alfred searched every corner in Germany for her, going so far in the following years even to Czechoslovakia and Poland where he was at last arrested. If the Gestapos didn’t send him to the Ghetto and then to Treblinka, he would still be searching today. But it was all in vein.

In the extermination camp, Alfred scarcely escaped death for several times which was like a miracle to him. However, since he had lost the most significant purpose in his life, survival didn’t mean much to him. He was numb externally and lost internally, living senselessly one day after another. In 1943 when those Sonderkommandos working in the camp revolted, Alfred just followed them mindlessly in the chaos, not knowing what he was actually doing. Miraculously, he escaped. Determined to run west, this lucky fugitive wandered blindly around the wilds without any real direction. Ultimately, he was saved by a polish peasant family. They hid him on their farm until the war was over.


Last edited by stuka on Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:55 am GMT, edited 1 time in total.

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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:53 am GMT 
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7.

Standing on the wreck of what once manifested his accomplishment, old Alfred finished his story, as Mathew started his. He told Alfred everything he had experienced the other night together with Agnes even if he didn’t hold out much hope that the old man would believe him. But Alfred did. He said that he always suspected there was something special about Ingrid. When Mathew talked about meeting Agnes, Alfred got agitated. For ten years he never believed she would be still alive. And now there seemed to be a little hope of their reunion.

But where? Mathew told Alfred about Agnes’s so-called parent(s) in hell and her vanishing. Alfred thought for a while then suggested they go to Thomas and Ingrid’s old estate to see if there was anything helpful.

The estate had been abandoned for years. They found the house haunted, by painful memories and whispering fear. To their surprise, Ingrid, or at least what remained of her was there. She guided the two silently into a secret room in the cellar. In the room hung rifts leading to her memories. Through those rifts Mathew and Alfred came to see Ingrid’s past.

In one of them they saw the house she used to live in in her childhood. In another she was reading a book and got scared by a sea monster described in it, imagining her father’s ship being ambushed by the very same monster. The next day she was told that her father’s ship sank. They never found the wreck. In a third rift, Ingrid’s mother remarried. Her stepfather told her stories about friendly fairies living in the woods. She truly came across some fairies in the woods a few days later.

It seemed like the older Ingrid grew, the clearer it occurred to her that she possessed some kind of supernatural power which allowed her to turn her imaginations into reality. However this ability wasn’t as wonderful as it might appear to be. In fact those things it summoned was often not under control by Ingrid’s will since one’s imagination was hardly all at will. Whenever she was in a bad mood or thought of something terrible, harmful things happened to her family and friends. That was why eventually Ingrid decided to leave her hometown and moved to Germany to stay alone, where she met her special one in life.

After Ingrid and Thomas’s marriage, things improved a lot, especially when Agnes came to birth. Ingrid begun to learn taking command of her power, even used it in minor occasions for good. However deep in her mind, this ‘gift’ was yet feared and treated cautiously due to its unstable characteristic. Then Agnes went ill. Ingrid tried to save the girl with her power but the girl still passed away. Totally ripped apart by her daughter’s death, Ingrid tried desperately to resurrect her dead child’s body. Shockingly, she succeeded. By pouring everything she knew and felt about her daughter, however small and subtle, into the little girl’s body, she made it alive. But creating a complete human being is much more than imagining a sea monster or some fairies. The process exhausted Ingrid, both mentally and physically. A couple of days later, she died.


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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:54 am GMT 
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8.

Having learned Ingrid’s story, Mathew and Alfred gradually grasped the whole picture. Perhaps Ingrid didn’t merely pass her life onto resurrected Agnes, but her magical ability as well. Perhaps all those abominations in the factory and the so-called parent(s) in hell were nothing rather than Agnes’s imagination. Realizing this, Mathew and Alfred wondered how they could help Agnes get rid of her own shadows. They had to find her first. The only place they might find her was the factory.

In the estate, Ingrid’s ghost opened a new rift which brought Mathew and Alfred back to the day right before the factory was bombed and destroyed. They didn’t get to see Agnes right away. Instead they confronted German soldiers guarding the factory after it had been transformed in order to produce armaments. Wearing a US army uniform, Mathew naturally became their target. A conflict seemed inevitable. But it was all interrupted by an air raid, which was supposed to subsequently shatter the factory. Even though put in danger, Mathew and Alfred kept investigating.

Within fire ignited by bombs, horrible creatures rise. It was anyway too late to quit. Surrounded by flames, Mathew and Alfred finally met Agnes who was accompanied by her ‘parent(s) in hell’, that two-faced monster with a hideously long neck. They tried to persuade her that this was in a way all her own hallucination, and that only her sense of guilt for her parents’ death and other people’s suffering made the entire story about being adopted by the devil up, dragged distorted elements from her memory and turned them real.

When she refused to accept such truth, the two-faced monster attacked Mathew and Alfred. Ultimately shaken by their persistence, Agnes doubted what use would be of her ability as it merely brought misery to others. Alfred stepped forward, explaining to Agnes that it must have been her power that helped him survive the extermination camp and if put into kindness, instead of terror or irritation, her ability would also do good. She was moved but not convinced.

Then Mathew told Agnes if she could not adopt the idea of her own innocence, maybe she should try to forgive herself, even for things that she was never responsible for. It worked.

But the monster had no intention to depart in peace. Besides, the roof started to fall as a result of the fire. At this urgent moment, Agnes practiced her power, bringing all three of them to safety.


Last edited by stuka on Sun Nov 08, 2015 7:02 am GMT, edited 2 times in total.

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C.A.S
 Post subject: Re: a story i'm thinking about writing
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:54 am GMT 
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9.

As Mathew came to see the scenery around him, he found himself by the side of river Ruhr, with a distant view of the factory, now firmly standing. Agnes was there, as beautiful as the night Mathew first met her, holding one arm of old Alfred and smiling at him. They said goodbye to Mathew then begun taking a walk along the river bank as if it was but a casual daily hike for father and daughter. Mathew watched them leave until their figures were no longer recognizable. He turned around and headed the other way to pick up his jeep.


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