THE St. Louis Speakeasy
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I think, therefore I am
 Post subject: The last call of the night (not horror)
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 5:46 pm GMT 
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Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:06 am GMT
Posts: 75
Location: Far, Far away
Custom Title: I think, therefore I am
1:00 in the morning and yet a late night. I answer the phone on the first ring. Yawn and sip from my mug of coffee before placing the phone to my ear. "Hello.", I lean back into my chair, ready for another session.
"I'm sitting on a rood, three stories up. I've already deciding weather to jump or not", The voice was young. It had that uncanny calmness to it. the same feeling you get before a storm.
"would you like me to take your last words? maybe a memoir?",
a long pause ensues. "n-no?",
"would you like for me to inform someone? your parents? the police? a friend?",
"why would I want you to do that? that would be counter-productive!",
"well I'm a little confused with what you want me to do then.",
another silence. "I never said I wanted you to do anything.",
"Well it seems strange that you would call me without expecting anyone to do something. did you call to make someone feel the effect of your suicide? to maybe make me feel guilty for not persuading you to do otherwise?",
the phone's static hum collects in my ear. "I just want to talk.",
"what do you want to talk about.", I pinch my eyes and lean forward and take another drink from the mug.
"I don't know.",
"Then why not tell me why you want to do this whole thing?"
"Because I've feel that anything could be better than what I'm going through right now. I mean, Here sucks so how bad could there be?",
"where is 'there'? have you even thought?", The phone goes on speaker and I set it on the desk.
"Well, if it's Heaven I'd be happy, If it's hell I'd learn to deal with it.",
"well have you considered any third options?",
"....like purgatory?",
"no, like something that isn't of the bible.",
"if I'm reborn I'd have a new life. maybe then I wouldn't have to deal with any of this society."
"what if It's something else that a religion hasn't stated? like being stuck in a constant loop. or nothing happening? or maybe you end up in just a black place where you don't even have the ability to think."
when they spoke it came out in a whisper. "I don't know..." I go to my fridge and pick out a box of instant ramen and put on a bowl to boil. "Are you sure you don't want me to inform your parents? they would definitely like to kn-" , "No! I don't want to deal with them. they'd just say I wasn't thinking clearly.", their voice had a rasp to it. It was clear he was upset by the idea. Leaning on the counter I look toward the desk, staring at the phone, a person in my home. "........are you thinking clearly?" the silence that followed was long, thick, and full of ache.
their voice came out brimmed with defeat. "I know what I feel. I know I hear what the people say about me. I know that I want it all to stop but I don't know any other way to do it but this. h-I want to stop feeling angry at myself for not being like everyone else." light sobs filled the void after. the water was boiling now and I poured some into the packet and the rest went into the coffee machine. "Have you considered your options?"
"I have no options.",
"You have legs don't you? You could run away.",
"They'd find me and then I'd have even more problems.",
"why not live with someone else?"
"... I don't have anyone to go to."
"no friends at all?",
"none that I trust.",
"what's your name?",
"..... Dillon?"
"alright Dillon. would you like me to pick you up?"

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Last edited by Jasper on Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:13 am GMT, edited 1 time in total.

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I think, therefore I am
 Post subject: Re: The cast call of the night (not horror)
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 5:50 pm GMT 
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Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:06 am GMT
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Location: Far, Far away
Custom Title: I think, therefore I am
not my best. it fell apart at the end.

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For reasons unknown.
 Post subject: Re: The last call of the night (not horror)
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 9:37 am GMT 
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Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:07 pm GMT
Posts: 750
Location: Athens, Greece
Custom Title: For reasons unknown.
I wouldn't say it fell apart at all. It had a nice continuity to it; when I read each line I really felt what the next one would be. In all, it is very good, actually: simple, almost minimalistic, yet essential.
Good work.

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 Post subject: Re: The last call of the night (not horror)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:48 pm GMT 
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Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:03 pm GMT
Posts: 52
In the starting i though its a kind of thriller but then it looks your self story!
It doesn't fell apart as it goes in continuity!
Good writing and just be clear about your thoughts!

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