THE St. Louis Speakeasy
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 Post subject: The most badass ninja in the world and the best servant ever
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 4:21 pm GMT 
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Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:35 pm GMT
Posts: 5527
Wall of text! Behold!

He woke up. It was a fine day. He was still in no mood to stand up from bed. He didn´t have to, really. He was unemployed. He had all he could ever want. A servant that brings him food and comforts him whenever he wanted, ladies that came by the dozen when he sang his enchanting tune. Life was fine. He didn’t need a job to complicate things. He put one leg on the floor. It was colder than could be accepted. He whined. He stayed in bed. It was, after all, one of his days off. In the end he got tired of lying motionless in bed. He stood up and trottled down to the kitchen. His kind servant had left him some breakfast. It tasted nice. It was fish. He loved fish. After that, he walked casually into the living room, jumped into the sofa and there he was, lying motionless in the couch. He thought about last night. He had met a lovely little female. She didn’t live too far away. He had sung for her. She loved it. They had hot steamy sex. It was awesome. She had scratched him. He scratched her. There were a few bites here and there. Overall, it had been pretty nice. He felt comfortable. He made a soothing sound, telling the world that it need not worry, he was feeling just fine. He fell asleep. He hadn’t slept for more than an hour when he woke up by a very comforting sound. His servant had come home! He ran towards her and said hello. She said hello. Or so he thought. She always spoke in a foreign language he could not even begin to understand. But it was fine thought. Regardless of the language barrier, they always communicated pretty smoothly. She always knew what he asked for and everything was a-okay. All was fine with the world. He decided to go outside, so he went outside. It was rather cold, but nothing he couldn’t handle. It was even colder last night. But that changed when he met this lovely lady. Maybe he will meet her again tonight. Or somebody else. He didn´t mind. Keep your claws out, like they say! He walked casually among the trees in his enormous backyard. His steps were light. He tried his best not to make any unnecessary sound. He liked it that way. He was a ninja. A damn deadly ninja. Watch out, everybody, you could get a… what’s it called? A ninja knife? Yeah, you could get a ninja knife in your back, he was so badass. Ninja. He was a badass ninja. He stopped. His thoughts got focused on one thing. A target. Right there. In his backyard. In his backyard! Can you believe that!? He couldn’t believe that. His step got even lighter. He was completely silent as he crawled to his target. It was a person that wore brown. It was there, examining the ground. That person had not seen it’s assailant. He could not see what sex this person was, his, or her, clothing was rather androgynous. At least to the untrained eye. And he was not quite trained in these matters. If he couldn’t fuck or eat it, it was not worth the trouble. He was close. He was getting ready to jump the motherfucker when suddenly, the person spotted him. He jumped. The person dodged. The person seemed to just disappear into thin air. He was not amused. This was a big kick in the nuts of his ego. He looked around. He hoped nobody saw that. This was humiliating. He didn’t feel like a badass ninja anymore. This sucked. He went back inside and went to bed. He slept and dreamed of birds. He woke up again by the smell of food. He trotted into the kitchen where his servant was preparing dinner. He let her know he was hungry. She put food in his food container. It was no ordinary food container. It was a special food container just for him. He felt so special. He finished the contents of the food container and jumped into the couch. After a while (too long if you ask him), she came into the living room. She sat down in the couch. He got up and lied down on her lap. She started to pet him. He purred. Being a cat was just too damn easy sometimes.


 Post subject: Re: The most badass ninja in the world and the best servant
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 9:02 pm GMT 
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Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:49 pm GMT
Posts: 1865
Location: TEXAS
Custom Title: Undead'd
I lol'd.

More text walls?

WARNING: Prone to shenanigans and malarkey.


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